Hardy's Wine granted as Key Worker

COVID-19 has a lot to answer for, so far in 2020. Including the increased drinking by 'home learning' mothers.

It has been confirmed that Hardy's Wine, situated in nearby West Malling High Street has been issued with the special status of 'Key Worker' as stay at home mothers are reaching for wine before lunch time.

"NO! 4+4 is EIGHT, it's fucking EIGHT!!! What is wrong with you!"

Children are learning a lot of new words whilst home learning has taken place this week, and mothers have been alcohol dependent since 9:33 am Monday.

A local un-disclosed Mother quoted "Fuckety fuck, I take it all back. I thought the teachers at school were downright shit, but alas, it turns out Jemimah is just a thick little div".

The special status for Hardy's Wine was granted especially for residents of Kings Hill only, as the existing usage stats were already notoriously high. "Why fight it" stated a local MP.

Mothers from West Malling, that are in a similar predicament are unclear as to whether they too qualify to purchase mass loads of wine as Kings Hill is within West Malling, and so they believe it should extend to them. We are waiting for clarification and will be sure to update soon.

If you are struggling with home learning, and have turned to alcohol. Please contact us and we will refer you to help groups.

Hang in there. 11.5 weeks to go...