KH Locals Lead the Way for World Peace
- Chief Editor
- Apr 29, 2019
- 2 min read
A local pioneering and volunteer group from West Malling has recently been recognised by Sadiq Khan (London City Mayor), as 'leaders' in the prevention of anti-social behaviour.
Reports suggest that Khan has invited the group, 'KHLALA' from a local West Malling development, to advise on the prevention of anti social behaviour as well as the knife crime epidemic throughout London and its expanding outskirts.
What does KHLALA stand for?
"Kings Hill La La. We deal with local issues by simply putting our fingers in our ears and shouting LALALALALALALA! Whilst either pretending it's not happening, or re-directing forum topics to the fact that somewhere else has worse issues' said co-founder Mr Ignor Anceisbliss. "It's all about bringing the positives to the forefront, and pushing the negatives out of sight".
As one onlooker gazed confusingly towards Ignor, and asked "Would it not be better to just, nip the small issues in the bud? You know, to set an example?"
"haha!! Hell No. Take for example recent events. Kids have smashed the planting area, pulled down the railway sleepers acting as a raised planter whilst throwing domino's pizza boxes around the paved area outside Costa. We have then had some teenage girls steal somebody's garden ornament, whilst marching it to the destruction zone (outside Costa) to be brutally smashed to bits, oh and don't forget the kids previously ripping up trees like some kind of tornado disaster - what did we do? We belittled everyone that dared complain about it and told them that knife crimes and generally a worse life is to be had if you lived in Saaaf London! Voila, problem solved!".
"It's genius" - said Sadiq Khan. I want this group on my team here in London.
KHLALA is already making waves in our capital city this morning as they've written on behalf of some of London's facebook forums, to "ignore the knife crimes and stop being so petty, as in America they have guns and shit".
It's already rumoured that states from the US Deep south have requested KHLALA to assist them, with a similar document stating that people should wind their necks in, and be grateful it's not the African Boko Haram insurgency area, and in turn they'll be scheduled to give the people of Chad & Cameroon a speech on how they should be pleased it's not the Gaza strip.
KHLALA Group certainly have some nominations for World Peace heading their way - keep up the good work people, you're doing a fantastic job!
Now where did I put that bowling ball....Striiiiiiiiike!