The Wizard of Milton Lane

"We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of Milton, because because because because becauuuuuuse...... Ahhhh FFS!"

It has been reported earlier that 4 residents set off on their jolly way, in the hunt for the elusive wizard of Milton Lane, the master of all things parking, only to have been stopped in their path (literally) by the Yellow Brick Road Guard - otherwise known as, the idiot in a mini.

"But, but, but.....It was better than parking in the road and blocking that!" Said Twatty McTwatface.

The four residents were so upset that their jaunt stopped prematurely.

"I've travelled long and far to get a heart, across the land many miles and on the final path I can't believe I've been stopped in my tracks by Twatty McTwatface, the dreaded Yellow Brick Road Guard." said Mr Tim Man.

Mr Stephen Crow, claimed "I came to get fitted with a brain. Although I've been stopped today, if I do make it to see the Wizard, I'd gladly donate it to Twatty McTwatface. They need it more than me and I DO have a heart after all."

There were two other people who we tried to interview, one didn't have the courage to speak to our reporter and the other, Miss Dorothy Perkins; when quizzed at the inconvenience of the Yellow Brick Guard simply replied "cunts, the lot of em"......

Do you know anyone that's met the Wizard of Milton Lane? We'd love to hear from you.