Breaking reports suggest that snow is falling in surrounding areas, and possibly working it's way towards West Malling today (Thurs 24th Jan).
Historically known as 'Fucked Thursday', the most favourite day statistics wise for snow to 'fuck things up' to all man kind in Great Britain, Parkfoot Garage has pleaded to one of it's main competitors in a heart felt letter, to listen to their advice.
The leaked letter has found it's way to a covert reporter earlier this morning.
Heavy snow fall seen here (Above) about to cause havoc
"Dear Asda Store Manager,
The snow is coming. It's inevitable. It happens every year, it's not something new, so you really shouldn't be getting caught out with empty shelves this time so here's some pointers for you as a fellow store/business owner.
In anticipation of your customers going berserk, concerned that they will need to be eating rations of tinned corned beef for the next 6 weeks, and having to send family members out hunting for food whilst murmurring 'hooga booga' like cave men, traipsing across the winter plains of Kings Hill whilst towing sledges with supplies on board like Kristoff from Frozen, our advice to you is this;
1) Re-Stock the bloody shelves quicker! Stop leaving trolley loads of stock round the back, get it moving!
2) Generally, what we do in the Spa garage is monitor our sales and when things start to sell out quicker, it means they're more popular than we anticipated. We therefore order MORE the next time. This works out really well for us.
3) Deliveries - when the snow comes, every year we gain lots of new customers which we're grateful for. Thank you. It's because of your failures to re-stock that we have earn't enough extra cash over the couple of extra days of 'snow business' that we renovated our entire plot. We kept our business going throughout each 'snow season' of 3 days per year by using excellent delivery drivers and companies that are capable of getting through the gruelling 2-3 mm of snow. Even if that means negotiating an extra few hours of traffic. We suggest you do the same, and review your setup here. It could pay dividends.
4) Salt/Scrappers/Shovels/Sledges - this is a neat little up-sell. Rather than wait for the snow, (see opening sentence) we suggest you get some of these in ready. Put them high up in your racking far away until its needed. We find they sell really well over the few days of snow.
I wish you well, in your forthcoming snow season. Good luck.
Store Owner
Parkfoot Garage Spa & Butchers"
Have you seen the snow yet? Are you prepared enough for 6 weeks of corned beef and spam rations!?
It's an interesting insight to how businesses operate differently. Does anyone else operate like this and adjust their sales with buying pattern statistics?