Whilst everyone loves a moan now and then, it was one of those day's today when we can celebrate the GOOD that Kings Hill brings our every day lives.
In a well thought our Monday morning treat, otherwise reserved for pre-workers moping along the aisles with their heads down, pondering what sandwich or pot noodle to buy for their lunch, local supermarket ASDA put on a gladiator style fun packed experience for it's early morning clientele.
"We dismantled the left travelator therefore giving people a monday morning dilemna.
1) Take the stairs up not knowing how to get down,
2) Go up and share a lift downwards with strangers, possibly being forced to exchange pleasantries,
3) not go up at all and just buy a Costa or
4) Go up, and Gladiator down the Travelator the wrong way barging fellow customers out the way!" said store manager Wolfman.
Scenes of a ram packed elevator forced shoppers to visit the toy Aisle to pad up, and take on the Asda Gladiator Challenge!
"Fuck that, I haven't got time to queue up for the lift - I'm double busy" said Michael, a local resident who'd already said good morning to his neighbour once today, and didn't want to do it again in the lift.
"Pad me up!"
Eye witnesses said a short white haired guy came out of the toothpaste aisle to halt two contestants, asking if they were 'ready'. He had a black and white stripy shirt and said over the store tannoy system "YOU, will go on my first ffffwwwwhiiistle. and YOU, will go on my secoooond ffffwhistle!" (Ok own up, who just said that out loud in a thick Scottish accent?)
It was quite tense as shoppers stayed to watch the result, causing 82% of local workers checking in late today, with the Doctors reception unable to take calls for over 40 minutes until the end of the event finished.
"Sod the locals and their sniffly man-flu, this is a once in a life-time opportunity to watch Gladiators live! I always wanted to be Jet" said one receptionist as she ran off to work humming "daan, de de dan, de da daan, do you have the powwwwerrrr, of the gladiatorrrrrr!!!"
It's never a dull day on Kings Hill. We're hoping tomorrow will being Waitrose in conjunction with Strike it Lucky. (Awight at the back!?)