A growing trend of moronic behaviour reaches a record high on Kings Hill today, but a bitter sweet moment is experienced as residents actually agree, for once.
Recently we have experienced an array of cockwomblism which has led to a local film producer gaining inspiration for a new script.
"A Twat in the Hand is worth 2 in the Bush" is due to start set building this October, based on true life experiences of Kings Hill drivers.
Some of the stars include;
Maureen W Bush - Cannot for the life of her see green shrubbery, often found driving a peugeot trimming hedges on the way to Asda.
Neil Twattery - Drives double the speed of the limit. Everyone else is wrong, he is right. Nobody likes him.
Randall the Vandal - Think's he's a secret car assassin, which prowls by night to scratch and vandal cars. Forgets CCTV is actually a thing.
Victor Passat - Sick sexual fetish with the cycle lane. Loves parking anything he can right up it's forbidden passage.
Posh Spice - She/or He, drives anything over the value of £23k to qualify as being posh, even though elsewhere its a higher threshold of £80k. Slip up on your parking? At her peril....
Vince Vitara - Drives up and down the entrance of Kings Hill to ensure the 100m of road is protected. In Rush hour, he can be seen protecting his beloved cut through piece of road like a troll protecting it's bridge from the Billy Goat Gruffs! Nobody gets past Vince Vitara!
It's a proud moment for Kings Hillians to have a potential Hollywood film made here.
Although some roads will be closed during filming, which is scheduled to start December 15th, between 8am and 10am every day.
Enjoy!