Costa Coffee Tips Resident Over Edge

"Well that's f*cking IT!" cried a local Kings Hillian resident today, after begrudgingly walking into the shit costa rather than the good one.

"I knew it. I just fu*cking KNEW IT! The amount of times I've come in here, with my husband I might add, (never alone) and these clowns have given me crap coffee and sub-optimal food, I should have known better."

The customer, Michelle Douglas from Falling Down Avenue, ranted on Facebook to fellow disgruntled residents earlier today, expressing her utter disgrace at how a toasted cheese sandwich can be served SO wrong.

Conspiracists believe that Michelle was recognised from previous poor experiences which led to an official complaint, and the staff didn't have the heart, or courage to tell her the grill was temporarily faulty.

Instead, the quick thinking Costa staff member took the sandwich aside to sit on it like a mothering hen and broke a heavy gust of wind onto it, providing what she'd hoped was ample heating of the sandwich in question.

Alas, the quest for customer satisfaction backfired (literally) and a deeper hole of Costa Shitness has been dug for Michelle.

Upon briefly speaking to Goldex Investments, franchise holders for both Costa 1 and 2. a spokesperson was unable to comment on the incident in question although did confirm a re-branding is taking place.

Costa 1 = Shit Costa, Costa 2 = Good Costa.

Michelle is now off to get herself a McDonalds Breakfast (16:28hrs) so we wish her the best of luck.

Have you sampled the Wet Fart Cheese Toastie? We would love to hear from you.