As temperatures dropped to a Siberian-esq -1 degrees earlier today, police were called upon by Kings Hills Asda superstore.
A few locals and nearby villagers flocked to Asda to buy bread, Milk and tins of corned beef by the trolley load in fear of starvation.
“We’ll meet again, dont know where, don’t know wheeeeeen” sang one old gent as he walked out with a trolley and a half of supplies.
Police were called once a kerfuffle occurred in the Bread Aisle as several eager shoppers fought over the last Best of Both loaf which burst all over the cake shelf.
Conspiracists from the nearby Waitrose team have suggested that Asda own two huge snow machines which are strategically placed at the top of blue bell hill and Wrotham.
“Both get switched on simultaneously pointing towards Kings Hill. When profits are low prior to financial year end, it’s a quick way to get a boost of sales. They know people panic buy and it’s quite obvious when you realise the extra stock and sledges they have ready for it!” Said Malcolm Quinoa.
It wasn’t all about altercations this evening though...
As rations of spam and corned beef made their way to pantry’s across Kings Hill, the snow brought about a temporary truce between political rival groups Grotbags B team and Rod, Emu & Friends who gathered on no Mans land (The Pippin Way Green) for a game of football.
It wasn’t a bad game!
Rod crossed a ball into the 6 yard box after a mazy run down the right, beating 3 of the rival players, Emu flew in out of knowehere to beak the ball past the keeper “GOAL”!
Grotbags wasn’t happy. From the next kick off you could see the sheer determination as green skin turned a more bluey colour. She hopped onto her broomstick and whizzed down the flank “Crooooocccc!!!! On your tail son!” Cried Grotty. Croc tripped, rolly pollied and accidentally landed nose first in a steamy pile of Kings Hillian dog turd.
It’s a funny old game. Full commentary of the game is available upon request.
Stay safe out there people!