We have been provided a list of Kent schools that are closed tomorrow due to severe snowfall forecasts.
West Malling School for Budding Hairdressers & Estate Agents
The Kings Hillians Snobbery Polytechnic
Maidstone Grammar for Gender Fluids
St Simon Beef Stock
East of Malling School for All ages that can be bothered to go to school coz we’ll take anyone fuck it
The Discovery Channel School
Snodland School for Shits ‘n’ Giggles
3/4 Up and a 3rd to the left Kent College
The nearest school that is currently opening its doors tomorrow is TOGS in Tonbridge, boasting the highest of school warmth ratings due to feather down insulation.
The list will update in live time throughout the night so be sure to check back before heading off on the school run.
In addition to school closures we are expecting a full sell out of every Asda product within 4hrs of opening. That’s if the staff make it in ok.
Please ration your pantry stock piles sensibly, and check on any elderly neighbours should they need food. It looks like we’re in for the long haul this time as forecasts suggest bad weather for up to 2 days.