An artists impression of Asda's on-site Petrol Station has been leaked today, by an 'inside' staff member according to various social media sources.
Poor driving is often the subject on many Kings Hillians lips, so there's no surprise when an artist impression of the Asda Garage leaked, it appeared to have a car crashed through it's window. A premonition or hidden warning message from the planners perhaps?
Yet, we believe the plans are very real and will go ahead regardless.
The location is set to be decided later this year but currently plans are approved on 3 sites.
"It's a bit like an ending to an Eastenders Xmas Special" said town planner Kudon Giveafuch.
"We're aware we have staff working here leaking information, so this way nobody will actually know the true location until building starts. We haven't even decided ourselves! It doesn't give people a chance to object this way - genius isn't it!" Kudon yelled.
The three sites according to an inside Asda source is;
Ripping out the middle trees from the central entrance road - single pumps/self serve x 12 shall be placed where the security car often sits at 5pm to stop people using the swing around cut through.
Removing the Bottle Banks at the bottom of the Asda Car Park and placing the Garage there, as Kings Hill clearly has a drinking problem and should cut down anyway.
The large un-used space across from Asda/Waitrose behind the gates - you know, the place where kids enjoy a game of footy and residents put a stop to that ghastly noisy fun we used to have once a year because the TV volume had to be increased by 4 bars in order to hear Shittens Got Talent.
We called the Parish Council offices to ask for their thoughts and.....ahhhh forget it, you know the drill by now!
However, we did manage to get hold of a councillor who isn't a councillor, Rod.
"I'm unsure whether it'll be good or not, we have a lot to think about clearly. Our residents are voicing concerns of high traffic volumes, poor driving increasing and some even think it's a good idea whilst one other guy who is clearly here from the future wants to see Electric charge stations!"
Rod suggested if the plans really are signed and sealed, residents should at least get the chance to campaign and vote for which site gets the station, and there's nothing like a good ole mini referendum during the summer on Kings Hill!
Good Weekend All!