TOWIE star..... No wait, let me start again.
That TOWIE bloke, Pete Wicks AKA 'Pete The Pirate' will be venturing across the high waves of the Thames border this weekend into Kent, to participate in a calendar signing in Maidstone.
The National Curriculum for UK schools have held off for the 11+ exams to be completed, before earlier announcing this week it's 2018 plans to introduce 'Essex' as part of our kids vital learning.
Pirate Pete has kindly offered a live workshop after his meet and greet/signing, to give our Kent kids a taster on what's to come.
We asked Pete for some insight;
"You alright? So you're good then yeah? Good. Me too. Well errrr, it's like, the same language, well kind of ya naaa what a i mean. Ya naa what I mean?"
We told Pete we're slightly bemused. Pete said why is that funny. We said Bemused, not amused, although it is slightly amusing. "What the faaak you on about" said Pete. "Never mind".
If you'd like to give your kids a head start on learning Essex, why not take them down to The Maidstone Mall this Saturday and pop into The Calendar Club.
The shop are running a competition for the best dressed Pirate.
Please send your photos on Twitter and we'll also judge them with the winner getting a special mention. (@kingsHillShnews for Twatter or BookFace @KhandmallingShnews)